Sunny Spider Belly

It's still taking getting used to the fact the sun sets so early now. Every year, it seems so sudden, and I don't know why that is. You'd swear the change happens all at once. I come out of evening classes and it's dark. My drives to early classes are in the dark. I don't mind it for sleeping in, but I love sunshine too, and winters are hard for this.

Dress - From A Cat of Impossible Colour on Etsy

Mocassins - Sears

I'm still so happy with how this dress turned out. Shortening it seemed more complicated than it actually was and this high low hem is so much fun. Maybe I'll do more sewing projects over the winter. I know I want to work on my quilt but I think I'm going to make smaller lap quilts instead of the large one I had first intended a few years ago. That's less intimidating.

My adult female Grammostola rosea tarantula molted about two weeks ago. I was able to see her start, flipped over on her back like this, but I had class and missed most of it. She was free from her old exuvium and stretching out by the time I got home. It's just a shame because she only molts every 2-3 years now so it's a rare occurrence. Next time, I guess! Well I'd best get ready for my day. Cheers!

Another Day

I've fallen out of the habit of taking outfit photos - which is a shame because I've been wearing some pretty neat stuff lately - but I think part of it is due to the changing of the seasons. It's almost always windy out, and often cloudy or raining. And while I love Autumn, the smell, the crispness of the air, it doesn't really lend itself to my going out there in short sleeves for photos with my half-broken camera.

Necklace - Made by Me

T-shirt - Thrifted from Value Village

Belt - Ardene's

Skirt - Vintage from Kilo Shop in Paris

Mocassins - Sears

I suppose I can just start taking them indoors again like I did this photo back in early September. Eventually I won't have much choice either way. I'm spending a lot of time in my kitchen now, even more than usual. I'm trying to practice a lot of the recipes from school, which I think I mentioned before, but cooler weather always drives me to my kitchen.

This is some Scallop Seviche, with jalapeños and cherry tomatoes on a chiffonade of lettuce. It was actually really delicious and I'll definitely be making this dish again. I attempted to make a vegetable consommée this past weekend but due to some stupid mistakes I messed it up. I'll be trying again though, because I'm stubborn and it's something I really want to be able to do.



My parents were doing work on their bathroom late last week so my mother brought her ball python Fluffy to my place until they were done. I couldn't resist piling him in with my two boys, Galen and Rorschach. They make such a cute pile o' pythons!

I should probably start getting ready for my baking class this afternoon though. We're making the Choux Pastry Swans that I practiced last weekend. Should be a good class. Cheers!

Rain? Sew!

More of the same cold, gloomy weather here - so cold I've had to cover my little garden plants for tonight's frost warning - so I've been sewing all day. I happened to have two identical All That Jazz vintage dresses, funnily both purchased on Etsy but from different sellers, the second of which I had acquired with the intention of shortening. I finally got around to that project today.



Of course I didn't think to take before photos of the actual altered dress, so I just took a photo of the one unaltered garment, hence the slight pattern difference between the two. High-low hems are all the rage these days and I'm more than pleased with how this came out. I might just attempt it on a few of my maxi skirts too. I look forward to warm weather again when I can break out this newly-shortened vintage gem and show off my gams in the sun! Cheers!

Spring Flowers

Unfortunately it's still too early - and mostly too cold - for real spring flowers, but I sure looked and felt springy in this outfit yesterday! The sunshine and warmth was lovely after all the cold rainy days we've been having lately. I was even able to go bare legged! This year's first bare-leg day!

Cardigan - Thrifted from Value Village

Dress - Thrifted from Value Village

Mocassins - Highway Trading Post

Vintage Glasses - Young Jane's in Ottawa

It's set to rain again this evening and into tomorrow, but I don't mind too much. I'm happy because my landlord's given me permission to make a little garden and set up a compost box. Already I've got the box set up - just an old wooden rabbit hutch from which I ripped the bottom, and hauled into the yard from the back field. If it weren't windy as hell and about to rain at any moment, I'd be out piling stuff into it already.

I'm trying to fill my spare time best as I can until I start working at a local bakery in a few weeks - if nothing changes between now and then - but I can't keep baking so much! I'm packing on more weight than I'm happy about and having tasty sweet things laying about doesn't help. I still feel good about my body, but if I get much heavier and bigger, I won't for long. I'm feeding myself plenty of tasty fresh veggies and trying to enjoy more time outside. No punishing myself, no depriving myself. I'm just giving myself more of good things, because my body and mind respond better to that. I hope you're all having a good week. Cheers!

Who are you?

I'm not bothering with excuses, I'm beyond really caring about my blog's slow death at this point. I've stopped looking at clothing online and I haven't read a style blog in weeks and weeks. I don't miss it. I also don't find myself desiring any silly object I don't really need either, which is pretty groovy. These photos were the last outfit shots I took at the end of August.

T-shirt - Fairweather

Skirt - Garage sale

Sandals - Thrifted from Value Village

I never thought I'd be a wearer of white, much less a white t-shirt, but I bought a few and I really dig their crispness and simplicity. And I'm even managing to keep the darn thing clean! No mustard or blueberry stains yet!

 Just a few days ago I returned from my trip out to Nova Scotia to visit family. It's lovely country, and wonderful people. I have photos from that but considering I haven't even posted all of those from my Montreal visit yet, who knows if they'll ever even get up here.

Hopefully the month of September has been treating you as well as it has me. Cheers!

Another Life

I can't believe I haven't posted real outfit photos in nearly a month! A lot has been going on at my end of things, and it's also been very hot so I haven't been wearing much in terms of interesting clothing. I think I spent three days last week wearing the same altered men's t-shirt and a black skirt because everything else felt too fussy. This outfit is far from grungy though, and the skirt was actually a gift from the lovely Anne way back when she sent me a package over the winter.

Top - Thrifted from Value Village

Skirt - Gift from Anne

Sandals - Spring

I don't have very many pieces of clothes with either pink or grey so I had a bit of a challenge when it came to finding something with which to pair this skirt! Finally I just decided that these patterned had a good thing going and went with it. I'm pretty happy with the outcome, and it was a comfortable and light outfit to wear on a hot day when I was still working.

For a while I was letting my cat out to chill on the terrace with me while I took photos or whatnot, but the little booger kept sneaking off to my neighbours' terraces and that's not something I could have him doing. So I got hm a harass and he grudgingly lets me put it on him. He'd rather look silly and be outside than sit staring at me through the window screen.



He doesn't stay out there on his own - being tied to stuff spooks him - but looping the leash around a chair leg at least keeps him from zipping off while my back is turned. July was a rough month for my cat because I was away three weekends in a row and very busy during the weekdays. He's happy to have me around so much more now, and I'm very happy to be home with him!

I'm much more tan now than I am in these photos. A few outdoor festivals and visits to a water park and I managed to avoid any serious sunburns though which is great. There's a pale circle around my left wrist where my watch always is that sort of shows how pale I used to be in contrast to now which is funny. Anyhow, now I'm rambling. I hope you're all having a good week. Cheers!

Quick - before it rains!

It seemed every time I would get myself set up, it started to rain. So I would dash inside. Then it would stop raining and I'd pop back out... only to have it start raining again. After the third time dashing indoors, I just gave up and settled with the few photos I'd managed to take without getting myself and my camera soaked in a downpour.

Top - Thrifted from Value Village

Skirt - From grandmother

Sandals - Fluevogs

The second gecko baby hatched yesterday afternoon and I was able to move it in with its sibling after coming home from work. Once they've had a few days to get used to their container I'll try getting some photos of them together. I'm really interested to see how their colours develop.

I'm going to enjoy the heck out of this weekend because it's the last one I actually get to spend at home for a while. Next weekend takes me out to Space Gathering, and the weekend after I plan on going home for a family visit, and the weekend after that takes me to the Eclipse Festival. I knew I was going to have a busy summer but man! August will bring more traveling, more music festivals, and more camping if everything goes right. I'm so excited for everything! I hope you all have a really groovy weekend. Cheers!

Another Newbie

You might recall a little less than a month ago when I shared photos of my first ever crested gecko hatchling. Well yesterday I got home from work to discover that an egg from the next clutch had hatched during the afternoon! I was thrilled, and I'm in love with the wee thing already. Its clutch-mate (since crested geckos lay 2 eggs at a time) still has yet to hatch, but I figure it'll join its sibling in another few days. Before photos of the new baby gecko though, here's a new outfit.

Top - Fairweather

Skirt - No idea, some mall shop

Leggings - Sirens, I think

Sandals - Thrifted from Value Village

I wore this last Saturday to help my friend Chrissy (who took these photos) start packing up her apartment. In retrospect, wearing a white top while packing was kind of a bad idea and I wound up getting pretty dusty, but nothing a good wash won't clear up. I bought this orange tube skirt and one in pink for $5 each, only to realize they're near transparent. I wore this orange one as a tube top a little while ago actually, so while I can't wear them on their own, they're still proving very useful for light layering. Now if only I'd noticed my leggings were uneven...

Getting dressed that day made me realize how few shorter tops I actually have that aren't long-sleeved. I went through a phase where everything had to cover my butt, which is fine and dandy, but sometimes I want something that doesn't have the ability to stretch near-to-my-knees. Methinks I'll have to do a spot of thrifting to remedy this sometime soon. And now... the gecko babeh!

This photo is slightly blurred - I apologize - but I didn't think it would be very polite to blind the wee thing with a camera flash not hours out of its egg. You can see that the egg on the left is much bigger than the empty one on the right because it's still full of gecko cuteness. The eggs grow and expand as the little geckos do, so once they're empty they tend to collapse into themselves, unlike hard-shelled bird eggs.

I really love this last photo because you can see that the baby is still all wrinkly in its newness. If I'm really lucky I'll go home today to find that the second egg has hatched open. It was still intact when I left at lunch time though. It's so exciting knowing there's a little life in there, I can't wait to see what it looks like. I hope you're all having a good week so far. Cheers!

Spiffy Sandals

These are the fantabulous sandals that I purchased while in Montreal. They're Fluevogs, and if you've never heard of them before, for the love of Marie go check out their website! You'll be wiping drool from your chin in half a minute. I was delighted to find out they had a physical store in Montreal so it was great to be able to go in and actually try the shoes on. I'm not a fan of shelling out over $200 on something I haven't even tried on, eh? Good thing too, because I had to size up from my usual 8 to a 9.

Crocheted top - Thrifted from Value Village

Skirt - Thrifted from Value Village

Sandals - Faiths Low | Reumah by Fluevog

And believe it or not, for a wooden-soled clog, these babies are comfy. I spent ten hours in them this past Saturday, including walking about 2 km's in 'em on hard city sidewalks. Had I attempted that with any of my other heels, I'd have been limping halfway through the day. Most of my heels don't even allow me the ability to stand for more than ten or so minutes, much less walk, dance and be sexy for ten hours straight. I'm in love! And while my wallet still hates me, my feet are thankful. Money well spent, in my book, and I know I'm probably going to be buying myself more Fluevogs in the future.

I wore this outfit to my friend's pantsless birthday party on Saturday. She's moving out of the city for the summer so we all descended on the Love Shack (as she likes to call her home) for good pantsless times. I'm glad I was able to wear the skirt too, it hasn't seen light of day since way back in September last year. As for the top, I've had it years but it's never made it onto the blog. It's actually an Extra Large, but I liked it too much to leave it behind. I shortened the straps a bit, and the under-bust drawstring helps give it shape but I'm still really swimming in the thing. Didn't stop me wearing it though, and braless to boot. Freedom!

My septum piercing is kinda wonky, but so's my personality, so I guess it works! The wee cow earrings were a gift from my friend Becky, and they're turning into one of my favourite pairs. She gave them to me while we were at Electronic Brain a few weekends ago (I'll get around to posting about that, I swear) and I put them on right away. You can see near the bottom my ugly-but-functional strap shortening attempts. Why I did that in the front instead of the back is beyond me.

These are the last outfit photos I've got on hand, so I need to buck up and start taking more again. Summer always does this to me. It gets hot and gross and all I want to wear is outfits like these, but when I go to work in an office five days a week, I'm then rarely inspired by what I do wear and don't bother taking photos. Speaking of work... my last day has been approved, with a date of July 11th. I am excited and terrified, but it will feel good once I'm finally free. Two weeks! I hope you're all having a good week. Cheers!

Humid in Da House

Temperatures are continuing to climb to uncomfortable highs here in Ontario. They're calling for a high of 33'C/91'F feeling like 44'C/111'F today. This is expected to continue into the weekend but hopefully by next week things will be back to a reasonable level. I've had the misfortune of catching a summer cold so both my chest and head are congested and this humid weather is really not helping things. Not to mention I don't have A/C in my apartment so there's no real reprieve unless I'm at work.

Top - Thrifted from Value Village

Pleated skirt - Thrifted from Value Village

Sandals - Spring

Last night's sleep was fitful but I don't know if it's being sick or the heat giving me such trouble. Plus I keep having dreams where I think I've woken up and started my day only to have it go catastrophically wrong, but then actually wake up to realize I was only stressed over a dream. I think I had four separate dreams masquerading as reality just this morning.

I wore this outfit mostly to keep cool on a hot day while still being somewhat office-appropriate, but it feels a little like I'm in disguise. While I like the outfit, and how it looks on me, I'm not a huge fan. I think it's because there's so much black going on, and I'm really not used to being so darkly garbed. Even if my legs are pale as ghosts! I accidentally crisped a bit since then so at least not so much anymore.

I haven't really got much to say because I've just been chilling in the shade trying to keep cool and remember that just because it's warm doesn't mean my cold isn't real and that I still need to rest. At least I wasn't seriously sick while visiting Nicole in Montreal this past weekend. We had a really great time - and I bought some super special sandals - and once I get myself organized you can expect some photos from that adventuring. Anyway, I hope you're all having a good week and that you aren't sick like I am. Cheers!

Out of Focus

I took these photos late in the evening after getting home from my grandparents' and the light was so low that they all came out really fuzzy. Ah well, it'll do! I just knew I didn't want to waste the chance at some outfit shots, and good thing because I haven't been taking any recently. My outfits only ever seem to get documented in spurts.

Shrug - Thrifted from Value Village

Dress - Thrifted from Value Village

Shoes - Chinese Laundry

Lizard broach - Gift

I'm trying to take it easy this week in preparation for the upcoming weekend. I'm attending the Electronic Brain festival out in Québec. There's going to be over 60 continuous hours of music from two stages and it's all set up on top of a forested mountain! Three nights and days of awesomeness! I'm going to dance myself silly. And hopefully take a ton of photos. I never take as many as I wish I would.

Hopefully we get some descent weather. I've been to more than one festival that resulted in spending copious amounts of time hiding from rain in a tiny tent so I am prepared for that, but I would really rather avoid it! I think the worst would be having to set up camp in the rain. Come on sunshine! Or at least... not-rain! I can deal with cloudy skies if it means being dry. Anywho, I hope you're all have a good week so far. Cheers!

Inside Outward

If you could take a peek inside my mind and see my thoughts, things would probably look a lot like the print on this dress. Bright. Cheerful. Bold. Lively. Dynamic. To name a few. There are so many joyous thoughts and plans rushing around in there. It's like a crazy game of bumper cars, with flashing lights and ringing sounds as riders get jostled roughly about. All in good fun though!

Dress - Purchased from Ninth Avenue Vintage on Etsy 

Earrings - Gift from grandmother 

Sandals - Sears

Of course, not everybody enjoys a good bumper car battle, and so not everyone is comfortable with me and my various forms of self expression. Like my clothes. Or my taste in music. Or my past-times. Which is really just a loss for them! I tend to think, about 98% of the time, that I am super-awesome-fantastic and anybody would be crazy not to like me. And while that's extremely egotistical, I'd rather be a happy egotist than an unhappy person overly concerned about others' opinions.

Of course that doesn't mean I don't care about others' feelings. I think this mindset kind of helps me. Being friendly and open and caring is a lot easier if you already think you're the bees' knees. At least it seems so to me. I don't need outside validation to be a happy person. I'm not seeking approval or support. Whether or not someone thinks my dress is obnoxious, or that my life views are naive really doesn't concern me. I don't worry about those things and I try my best to be nonjudgmental about those things towards others. It's harder for me to deal with the rejection of my friendship and love than it is to deal with someone thinking I have bad taste in shoes or need a hair cut. I'm a selfless egotist, perhaps? Or maybe self-confidence is too often called egoism and I'm getting them all mixed up. (Bumper car crash!)

Let's just say that sometimes I do come off as harsh. Beating around the bush is not my style and in some instances my blunt honesty can be a little more than people can handle. I don't intentionally try to be hurtful or unfeeling or self-centered, but in the end my priorities do revolve around myself. It takes a lot of effort and presence of mind for me to take other people's feelings and viewpoints into account when I interact with others. I'm not fond of people or situations that upset me or make me uncomfortable and sometimes I can lash out more quickly than I should. I'm still learning.

Oftentimes it feels like I'm at an emotional learning stage that I'm too old to really be in. I swear everybody else went through this awkward crap in their teens? I'm all thumbs. I blunder through sensitive emotional interactions. I have the hardest time reading the level of someone's emotions. Are they only kind of grumpy or are they enraged? Is she just a little sad or is she about to burst into nonexhaustible tears? And I always feel so clumsy trying to console or cheer someone up. It's frustrating because I would love to be that person, but I'm still busily gluing my own parts back together. Trying to help someone else do that seems beyond my abilities right now. I mean well, but I'm not willing to put myself in a position I know isn't healthy for me.

Anyway, all that nonsense aside, things are good. I've booked a bunch of days off this month for various activities. Tomorrow is booked for a major apartment cleaning, which isn't very exciting, but things spice up after that. Tonight is my weekly belly dance class and beers with my friend Laura. Saturday is my friend Helen's baby shower, and then a night out at the bar with a fun group. Next weekend I'm heading out into Québec to attend the Electronic Brain music festival. I am SO excited for this! So excited!! It's going to be a blast. And then the weekend after that one, I'm going up to Montreal to visit my super-awesome friend Nicole. Plus a bunch of other amazing things because my life is just amazing right now. Emotional awkwardness and all! I hope you are all having a groovy week. Cheers!

It's a Parrot Party

It felt wonderful to wear this romper out in the warm weather. For some reason I didn't get around to wearing it much last year, hopefully I do so more this time around. My weekend was crazy busy. I think I got about five hours of sleep in a span of 48 hours at one point. I headed out dancing on Friday night and things just rolled along and the next thing I knew the sun was rising and the sky had the soft fuzzy cotton look that comes with dawn.

Romper - Purchased from Reluctant Damsel on Etsy

Sandals - Sears

The ironic part is that I kept saying I had to take it easy and have an earlier night because I was going to an open house at Ottawa's Cordon Bleu at ten the next morning. I still attended the info session, but I was running on a two and a half hour nap haha... I felt better whenever I was moving, so the forty five minute walks there and back were really quite enjoyable. The sun was out, the birds were chirping and there was a lovely breeze. It was still early enough for the earth to have that cool morning feeling to it. I was pretty miserable sitting inside but I'm glad I attended the session. I'm still see-sawing between Pastry and Cuisine, now more towards the first than the later. It's so hard choosing.

I had the opportunity to see the kitchens and talk to some of the Chefs, as well as see one of them make chocolate boxes right in front of us. All of the teachers are French Chefs from France and they all have that typical French accent, which amuses me to no end. They seem like a bunch of great characters and teachers. I really want to attend. I'm also waffling between taking just the beginner level and seeing about doing the rest later, or doing the whole Pastry diplôme in one chunk. The problem with doing it all at once is I'd run out of money to live on midway and I don't think I could work and learn at the same time. Not to mention having to take out another ten grands worth of student loans. Me no likey debt.

I'm hoping that having the beginner certificate will be enough to help me along for a while. And as much as I love both baking and cooking, I don't want to be a world renowned chef. I have no interest in touring the world or working in a fancy five star restaurant. I just like making tasty things and feeding people. Not to mention I am totally okay with washing dishes or sweeping floors in a bakery if that gets me in and lets me watch experienced bakers. I am not willing to be someone's office bitch admin assistant though, because I have no interest in moving up in that kind of environment and see no worth in the work.

It reads: A Bad Day on Vacation Always Beats A Good Day At Work!

Now finally I can explain the post's title. A few weeks back I walked by a shop called Fab Gear 64 on Wellington and saw this purse in the window. The shop was closed at the time but it had gotten my attention and the purse (okay, more like giant tote, but I say purse) was calling me. A few days later I walked by again while the shop was open, went in, fell in love and brought it home. Yes. It is covered in crazy partying parrots. My friend said they remind her of elderly people in Miami. They're having a good time though, and I dig it!

This thing is huge and glaring and sticks out. But I love it ever so much. It helps that it is both machine washable and has a wipe-down canvas interior while still being lightweight, perfect for my summer adventuring. Plus it has frigging partying parrots on it, how can it get any better?! I'm now living by their example and just having a good time as much as possible! I think they would approve of my past weekend.

In less than two weeks, my friend Laura and I will be selling crafty things at the Ravenswing Craft and Zine Fair here in Ottawa. Of course I've been procrastinating and am probably more behind in a few projects than I should be, but it's not the end of the world, I always manage to work things out in the end. It should be a great time. I hope you are all having a good Monday. Cheers!

Zounds!

This outfit surprised even me. I wore it to go to the Orchid show with my friends and it took about two minutes before one of them exclaimed... "Hey, Célynne's wearing pants!" The only reason I was comfortable like this (and I still felt rather naked) was because my blouse covered most of what bothers me being seen. Also is it just me or do the people who make jeggings assume we are all 6 feet tall? Because these are a size Small and I've still got oodles of material pooling around my ankles and knees.

 

Blouse - Purchased from Cookies and Crème Vintage on Etsy

Belt - Déjà New consignment shop in Ottawa

Jeggings - Hue

Shoes - Hush Puppies from Sears

My weekend was a whirlwind. I attended a friend's baby shower on Saturday. It was the first time our girl group had been together in its entirety in years (well, our 6th musketeer is out in Alberta!) and it amazed me how much we had changed and yet stayed the same. One friend brought along her seven (!) year old daughter and it blew my mind once again that my friends are parents and wives and husbands. I keep forgetting we're adults.

 
I'd be lying if I said seeing these things - marriages and babies - happening in the lives of my friends didn't make me sad. While I am overjoyed that these wonderful people are achieving these happy points in their lives, I'm also mourning them a little. Anybody who's had friends have kids knows what I'm talking about. No matter how hard you and they try, it's always going to be different, and very much so.

 

It's everything from having less time and less money, to new priorities and new people. Parents spend a lot of time with other parents. Because us single folks can only take so much diaper-talk and I gather parents can only take so much of hearing about the life they can't live anymore. I'm okay with their choices and where their lives take them - their life is theirs to live after all - but I'll miss the way things used to be nonetheless.

I knew 2012 was going to hold a lot of changes for me - felt it true in my bones - but I never thought I would be going through such an intense personal transformation again. Imagine sitting in front of a huge pile of building blocks, with the task of building who you want to be, but without clear plans on how to do it. (Maybe your snot-nosed cousin tore up the instructions?) You work your way up, only to realize you made a mistake, or you don't like something, or you get a better idea. It's a fluid work in progress with more than one outcome and none of them need to be final. Right now, I'm taking blocks down, turning them around in my hands, and trying to imagine the next thing I want to build with them.

 

There have been a few false starts and I haven't built up much further than my personal foundations, but at least those are solid and dependable now. My structure will have a dependable base upon which to be built, and that gives everything I put into this a better chance of success. I'm also learning to trade building blocks with others, for parts we each might need. Yeah, I'm really digging this metaphor! I hope it makes some sort of sense haha... Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend and that your Monday is going well. Cheers! 

Glow Worm

This bright yellow sweater really does have an inner glow. Sadly it didn't come across in the photos (seriously, it is actually even brighter in real life). I love my yellow sweater so much though! If it looks familiar for some reason, I was wearing it in the photo with my giant fat cat. The only downside is that it's very thick and very warm, so I can only wear it on particularly cold days, and when I know I will be in cold places.

Sweater - Thrifted from Value Village

Skirt - Yard Sale

Booties - Thrifted from the Salvation Army
Earrings - Friend-to-friend hand me down

Pardon my goofy grin above; the cat was doing something dorky and then the camera beeped at me. The last time I wore this skirt on the blog was way back in May of 2011. I'm pretty certain I've worn it a few times since then, but this low-wear of many of my items is why I really need to do some closet-purging. (Yes, I've still yet to do it, it is painful and I am avoiding it like the plague.)

The funny thing about this skirt is that it's labelled a Medium, but there's enough room for it to be an Extra Large and then some. It has no elastic at all, and I need to hold it up with my elbows as I pull the drawstrings taught or it literally just falls to the ground haha. It's great for hanging off my hip bones in the summer though, and has great movement.

I've given myself the goal of early nights and early mornings this weekend, to try and maximize the amount of things I get done. I've been naturally waking around 9am on weekends lately though, and am comfortable with considering that sleeping in. Am I turning into a true adult now that I appreciate and aim to utilize mornings? Haha... It's just too bad a lot of the things I like doing on weekends involve late nights. Or accidentally turn into late nights

It looks like I'll be attending that crystal bowl performance by myself this evening. I'm trying to build new friendships, but it seems my efforts dash aimlessly upon most people as waves do on rocks. I feel a lot like a child sometimes; nervous, timid, filled with an intense, overwhelming desire to explore and share and be happy and make friends. But most people just give me their glossed-over stranger-smile and fade away, like my bumbling-yet-well-meaning attempts are not worth their time. It's difficult when all your good intentions and desires are treated so cheaply.

I know now not to linger or bother with people who can't bother with me, but it's still frustrating. I'm very grateful for the ever-strengthening circle of family I have around me now, but the love I share with them just drives home to me how badly I want a close circle of friends to love and trust too. I have wonderful friends like Kirsten and Omar who I've learned SO much from, about being kind and curious and tender and loving and what good people are really like, and I need MORE of those people! Too bad it's so hard to root them out from the bad apples...

My weekend is going to be absolutely jam packed with activity, and I cannot wait for the work day to be over so I can get properly started on things. I hope you all have a super groovy weekend too. Cheers!