The Last

As the title says, these are the last photos of me before I had my bangs. I really like how this sweater is practically the same green as in the skirt. I have to be careful when thrifting though, otherwise my entire wardrobe would be some variation of that shade. It's like my natural instinct is to collect clothes that let me camouflage into the underbrush haha...

Sweater - Thrifted from Value Village

Skirt - Thrifted from the Salvation Army

Tights - We Love Colours

Shoes - Spring

I look forward to the day I can take outfit photos outside again. I hate these indoor shots. The quality is bad, the lighting is bad... bad! I miss natural sunlight, and not worrying about the flash making my tights glow. The only real advantage is the lack of wind. Can't wait for winter to be over and it's barely begun, sigh.

These next two photos are from an outfit that never really happened. But how do I have photos, you ask? Well I picked it all out the night before and tried it on to see if it worked. I decided I liked it, took some shots... And then the next day I wound up staying home sick and the outfit was never actually worn. Which is a good thing because I don't really like it anymore. But here it is anyway!

This week feels interminably long again. I have a thousand things to do in the evenings and it seems like I've never got time to do everything that needs doing. I wind up in bed later than I like most nights just so I can actually have the time to unwind and breathe.

I really want to go through my closet and dresser. I want to empty all my kitchen cupboards and reorganize those. I have a huge pile of small-mending that needs doing. Things I need a big chunk of time to sit down and devote myself to before I feel comfortable getting into them. I'll need to have a home-weekend and get all this done sometime.

I realized yesterday that my apartment lease ends in April, and that means I can move again. And I don't have to stay in Ottawa. Winter always makes me want to run away, but every time I get the urge, it's always stronger. I really love living in the city, but I miss the country. I want a simple life. Simple isn't easy, but it seems a lot better than this. Anyway! I hope you all have a good Wednesday. Cheers!

Wearing Love

Behold! My bangs! In their full banging glory! My hair is really light and whispy though, so most of the time they're usually flying about as I walk around. But ah well! I dig 'em. I'm even sooort of starting to become fond of the flippy cowlick thing it's got going on sometimes.

Capelet - Gift

Long sleeve top - Old Navy

Dress - Thrifted from Value Village

Flats - Ardene's

Before I say anything else though, I must speak of this capelet! It was made by hand especially for me by my grandfather's wife, Jane. She gifted it to me not long before Christmas. I actually wore this outfit on the Friday I spent with them before New Years, and I've been wearing it a lot around the house. It's so light and soft and snuggly and I love it ever so much.

I can't believe how lucky I was to find this dress! It has the prettiest detail at the gathering point, a sturdy crocheted circle. I just wish I'd thought to take a close-up photo. Another time!

The hairdresser convinced me to add some layers into my hair, and I'm happy I trusted her! I cut a good 4 inches off the back. I really love my long hair, but it had been getting a little too long for me, at least without doing anything to it. I'll be more attentive in my hair-care as it lengthens time this.

I'm having friends over for a sort of potluck brunch on Saturday, which I'm really looking forward to. Our friend Phil is bringing his lady-friend with him and it'll be my first time meeting her, which should be fun. I love meeting new people, especially when I get to feed them tasty foods to help win them over heehee.

It's too bad two of my friends are vegan, and another can't eat gluten. It makes feeding the group a wee bit complicated. Hence the potluck factor, so I'm not completely responsible if anybody starves hah. (Like I'd let that happen, psh!)

Tomorrow I'm going over to my old room mate's place to have dinner with he and his fiance. I find it rather amusing, but I'm realizing that most people with whom I spend my time are at least in their 30's. Mark and Helen are both in their late 30's, and I'm very good friends with a lovely divorced lady in her 40's. And other than 2 of my friends on Saturday, the rest of our gang is all 30 and up.

I really like surrounding myself with smart, experienced people though, and I guess that's part of why my friendships gravitate towards the more mature. I get a little lost in the conversations sometimes, but I usually also walk away with some new knowledge. And what's the point of a relationship if nobody shares or gains anything, right?

It feels like it should be Thursday. Somehow. All the shortened weeks I had over the holidays have me feeling a little kerfuffled. I hope you all have a groovy Tuesday. Cheers!

The land of Ice and Snow

It gets cold here. And I mean cold. Like, get severe frostbite if your hands are bare for more than 5 minutes kind of cold. Like, your breath is condensing and freezing on your eyelashes kind of cold. Like, worrying about whether or not your eyeballs can get frostbite and wishing you could knit yourself eye-mittens kind of cold. Okay well. Maybe that last one is just me. But folks. Cold. Which is why I spend most of my winter looking like this.

Wool coat - Thrifted from Value Village

Dress (it's there!) - Thrifted from the Salvation Army
Hoodie - Fairweather

Orange scarf - From a swap
Hat - Gift from mom

Wool thigh-high leg warmers - AdoreIt in the Byward Market

Boots - Payless

And this isn't even how I dress when it gets really cold. I have an entire other coat and boots for when it gets really cold. Although I don't think I'd be able to stand indoors long enough wearing all of that to take photos without melting. Which is why I'm not wearing mittens in this photo. I'd have melted.

On the plus side, after a few days of intensely cold temperatures, just-below-freezing is starting to feel kinda warm! I wished so bad I could have been snowshoeing Saturday night. The sky was clear and the moon bright and full. It would have been perfect for snowshoeing across a snow-covered field. I hope you all have a great Monday. Cheers!

Looking Back

There are a lot of posts out there lately covering outfits from 2011. I thought about doing this myself, but when I started scrolling through January 2011's posts, I immediately changed my mind. It's funny, because at the time, I was more than happy with those posts. Almost proud of them. Now I cringe at the bad photos and my weird ramblings.

April 22, 2011

I've changed so much in the last year. I consider myself a completely different person. I'd had a sense during the last few years that I wasn't quite as I should be. Like the person I was wasn't who I really was, if that makes any sense. 

 

November 5, 2011

I realize now I was transforming into my true self, like caterpillar to butterfly. I just spent an inordinate amount of time making my cocoon... and then more time inside that cocoon. I like to think that 2012 is the year I unfurl my fresh wings, let them dry and learn to fly as my new self.

June 27, 2011 - August 14, 2011

I dabble in writing now and again (like my failed NaNoWriMo) and often go back to read my older work. I'd like to share a poem with you that I wrote back in February of 2010, nearly two years ago. It's probably far more obvious to me since it's my poem and my life, but reading this now, the links are almost uncanny.

August 12, 2011

Feel the Pull

I want to sit in a sea of pillows and sip tea,

Like some exotic princess of the orient,

Or a chick in a downy feathered nest.

There will be bead hangings in doorways,

And summer breezes flowing through

Open doors and thin billowing curtains.

Yet my dreams of colourful flowing dresses

And long hair that blows in the wind still

Somehow always end up as black denim.

I'm beating my fists against the windows

Of my eyes, trying to set myself free,

But now is not the time for flying.

Still, my soul cracks open my chest,

Letting me feel that ever expansive feeling

Of being connected with all as one.

My mind is capable of more than I know,

And I want to feel it all over again,

With the world flowing through my head.

It's an eternal tug of war behind my ribs,

Desires running wild like headless birds,

And I can't help but wonder, what now?

Yet breathing isn't easy in the city,

So I hold my breath, and drive like mad

With the windows down, come pasture.

Eventually something will change, and the

Fettered desires of my being will be free to dance

With wildflowers and lay in beds of spider silk. 

July 1, 2011

This was written at a time when I was still discovering my style and my sense of self as an individual. I was reading post after post from Heather, Anne, Missa and Milla's blog archives (see, I'd not be me without you blog ladies!) and setting foot on a path to change.

September 15, 2011 - October 5, 2011

If 2010 was the year for my struggle to realize I needed to change, 2011 was the year for that change. Which brings me back to why I don't want to bring back most of my older posts. I don't recognize that person as me anymore, for many reasons.

May 25, 2011 - April 15, 2011

Beyond my internal changes, like beginning to  process new and complex emotions, nurturing friendships and love, and learning to be confident and open, I changed a lot physically too. I've lost a lot of weight. I've changed my hair. I dress differently, because I'm confident enough to do so. But if I dislike those outfits so much, what are these photos? They're the ones I feel resonate "me" the most, either because of what I was wearing or what I was doing or just how I remember feeling that day. Most are from later in the year, unsurprisingly.

November 25, 2011

August 1, 2011

If you've made it this far... yay! Thank you for reading my blog, and thank you to those who take the time to comment. Your words always bring joy into my day. I never figured blogs would be the catalyst for change in my life, but here lies the proof. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Cheers!

Where have I been?

Well, I've been in Montreal recently! I spent New Year's Eve there for the 3rd year in a row. I had a great time, and did lots of dancing and laughing, and I like to think I made a few people's night a little more magical. But in this kind of place... everything is magical!

The party was hosted in the same venue and by the same folks as the party I went to last year, so I knew it would be a good one. But nobody was expecting so many people! There were two rooms, and I swear we must have been a thousand people crammed in there at the busiest. But we were all happy people!

Did you all have a good NYE? Do you even celebrate? I didn't used to, and I still mostly see it as a nice excuse for a party but... hey, what's wrong with a nice excuse for a party, right? Especially when winter is bearing down on you. Good vibes go a long way! Have an awesome day everyone, cheers!

A Month Ago

These photos are from back on December 4th. I wore this out for breakfast (that has got to be my favourite meal to eat out) with my old room mate and his fiance. It feels a bit weird seeing myself without bangs now, even though I've only had them since a few days before Christmas. It's funny how quickly we can get accustomed to something.

Blouse - Gift from Heather

Belt - Gift from Heather

Skirt - Thrifted from Value Village

Boots - A shop on Sparks Street

I liked this outfit at the time but it's not something I'll ever be wearing again. I like the skirt, but it doesn't feel particularly me, bar on the rare occasion. To be honest, I think the last time I wore it before this was about this time last year! Maybe it'll be relegated to the donate pile during my next closet clean out... which I would really need to do soon... Then I can acquire a more me-friendly black maxi skirt. (I swear someday I'll have a rainbow in prairie skirts!)

I spent most of last Friday with my grandparents again. We went out for lunch, did a bit of shopping, played some card games at their place and had a nice dinner. They both fell asleep in their chairs afterward (she with her knitting, he the TV remote) and woke up half an hour later to find me quietly reading. They're too cute, I'm so happy to have them.

I have blog posts to read from way back on December 22nd... woops! I don't have much in terms of photos to post about my holidays, but I ate lots of delicious food and spent time with lots of wonderful people and that's what counts. Now I just need to catch up and find out what all you good folks have been up to... I hope you're all having a lovely week. Cheers!

Happy New Year! I'm still here!

I'm not quite certain how it happened, but I kinda stopped posting for a little while. I'd even gone out of my way to make certain I had saved up outfits to post while I was at my parents' place. And I even read some blogs while I was there. Yet somehow the thought to write my own posts never came to mind.



I just got back from Montreal today, having spent my New Year's Eve there with a friend. I'm not quite in the mood to write a whole post yet, but here's a photo of my cat Caramel and I, at my parents'. I brought him (as well as my two geckos and two tree frogs) with me for a visit. And my bangs! I'm still in constant battle with my cowlick, but I dig it. I hope you've all had wonderful holidays. Cheers!