Looking Back

There are a lot of posts out there lately covering outfits from 2011. I thought about doing this myself, but when I started scrolling through January 2011's posts, I immediately changed my mind. It's funny, because at the time, I was more than happy with those posts. Almost proud of them. Now I cringe at the bad photos and my weird ramblings.

April 22, 2011

I've changed so much in the last year. I consider myself a completely different person. I'd had a sense during the last few years that I wasn't quite as I should be. Like the person I was wasn't who I really was, if that makes any sense. 

 

November 5, 2011

I realize now I was transforming into my true self, like caterpillar to butterfly. I just spent an inordinate amount of time making my cocoon... and then more time inside that cocoon. I like to think that 2012 is the year I unfurl my fresh wings, let them dry and learn to fly as my new self.

June 27, 2011 - August 14, 2011

I dabble in writing now and again (like my failed NaNoWriMo) and often go back to read my older work. I'd like to share a poem with you that I wrote back in February of 2010, nearly two years ago. It's probably far more obvious to me since it's my poem and my life, but reading this now, the links are almost uncanny.

August 12, 2011

Feel the Pull

I want to sit in a sea of pillows and sip tea,

Like some exotic princess of the orient,

Or a chick in a downy feathered nest.

There will be bead hangings in doorways,

And summer breezes flowing through

Open doors and thin billowing curtains.

Yet my dreams of colourful flowing dresses

And long hair that blows in the wind still

Somehow always end up as black denim.

I'm beating my fists against the windows

Of my eyes, trying to set myself free,

But now is not the time for flying.

Still, my soul cracks open my chest,

Letting me feel that ever expansive feeling

Of being connected with all as one.

My mind is capable of more than I know,

And I want to feel it all over again,

With the world flowing through my head.

It's an eternal tug of war behind my ribs,

Desires running wild like headless birds,

And I can't help but wonder, what now?

Yet breathing isn't easy in the city,

So I hold my breath, and drive like mad

With the windows down, come pasture.

Eventually something will change, and the

Fettered desires of my being will be free to dance

With wildflowers and lay in beds of spider silk. 

July 1, 2011

This was written at a time when I was still discovering my style and my sense of self as an individual. I was reading post after post from Heather, Anne, Missa and Milla's blog archives (see, I'd not be me without you blog ladies!) and setting foot on a path to change.

September 15, 2011 - October 5, 2011

If 2010 was the year for my struggle to realize I needed to change, 2011 was the year for that change. Which brings me back to why I don't want to bring back most of my older posts. I don't recognize that person as me anymore, for many reasons.

May 25, 2011 - April 15, 2011

Beyond my internal changes, like beginning to  process new and complex emotions, nurturing friendships and love, and learning to be confident and open, I changed a lot physically too. I've lost a lot of weight. I've changed my hair. I dress differently, because I'm confident enough to do so. But if I dislike those outfits so much, what are these photos? They're the ones I feel resonate "me" the most, either because of what I was wearing or what I was doing or just how I remember feeling that day. Most are from later in the year, unsurprisingly.

November 25, 2011

August 1, 2011

If you've made it this far... yay! Thank you for reading my blog, and thank you to those who take the time to comment. Your words always bring joy into my day. I never figured blogs would be the catalyst for change in my life, but here lies the proof. I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Cheers!

Where have I been?

Well, I've been in Montreal recently! I spent New Year's Eve there for the 3rd year in a row. I had a great time, and did lots of dancing and laughing, and I like to think I made a few people's night a little more magical. But in this kind of place... everything is magical!

The party was hosted in the same venue and by the same folks as the party I went to last year, so I knew it would be a good one. But nobody was expecting so many people! There were two rooms, and I swear we must have been a thousand people crammed in there at the busiest. But we were all happy people!

Did you all have a good NYE? Do you even celebrate? I didn't used to, and I still mostly see it as a nice excuse for a party but... hey, what's wrong with a nice excuse for a party, right? Especially when winter is bearing down on you. Good vibes go a long way! Have an awesome day everyone, cheers!

A Month Ago

These photos are from back on December 4th. I wore this out for breakfast (that has got to be my favourite meal to eat out) with my old room mate and his fiance. It feels a bit weird seeing myself without bangs now, even though I've only had them since a few days before Christmas. It's funny how quickly we can get accustomed to something.

Blouse - Gift from Heather

Belt - Gift from Heather

Skirt - Thrifted from Value Village

Boots - A shop on Sparks Street

I liked this outfit at the time but it's not something I'll ever be wearing again. I like the skirt, but it doesn't feel particularly me, bar on the rare occasion. To be honest, I think the last time I wore it before this was about this time last year! Maybe it'll be relegated to the donate pile during my next closet clean out... which I would really need to do soon... Then I can acquire a more me-friendly black maxi skirt. (I swear someday I'll have a rainbow in prairie skirts!)

I spent most of last Friday with my grandparents again. We went out for lunch, did a bit of shopping, played some card games at their place and had a nice dinner. They both fell asleep in their chairs afterward (she with her knitting, he the TV remote) and woke up half an hour later to find me quietly reading. They're too cute, I'm so happy to have them.

I have blog posts to read from way back on December 22nd... woops! I don't have much in terms of photos to post about my holidays, but I ate lots of delicious food and spent time with lots of wonderful people and that's what counts. Now I just need to catch up and find out what all you good folks have been up to... I hope you're all having a lovely week. Cheers!

Happy New Year! I'm still here!

I'm not quite certain how it happened, but I kinda stopped posting for a little while. I'd even gone out of my way to make certain I had saved up outfits to post while I was at my parents' place. And I even read some blogs while I was there. Yet somehow the thought to write my own posts never came to mind.



I just got back from Montreal today, having spent my New Year's Eve there with a friend. I'm not quite in the mood to write a whole post yet, but here's a photo of my cat Caramel and I, at my parents'. I brought him (as well as my two geckos and two tree frogs) with me for a visit. And my bangs! I'm still in constant battle with my cowlick, but I dig it. I hope you've all had wonderful holidays. Cheers!

I carry my own sunshine

Usually in clothing form, like this cheerful dress. I actually own two of these All That Jazz dresses now, and in the same size. How lucky is that? I plan on shortening one, so I'll have both a long and mini dress, to give me some options. I'd have often worn this in the summer but it was just too long in the heat. Having a shortened one will be great come the (oh so far away) warm weather.

Dress - Purchased from Reluctant Damsel on Etsy

Wool Tights - Fancy Sox

Shoes - Lulus.com

Necklace - Thrifted from Value Village

I'm so tired today. I was up until about 1am before I finally got to bed. I met a friend for a nice Christmas dinner yesterday, and then she and I did a wee bit of mall shopping. Then late in the evening I met up with another friend who was in town just one day from San Francisco, out on her way to Nova Scotia. I spent a few hours with her and some other great people. But by the time I got home (and discovered my cat had regurgitated semi-digested cat food around the apartment) and took the time to unwind, it was laaate.

I certainly don't regret staying out later on a work night than I usually do though, it was definitely worth it to see my friend. However, I don't think I'll be drinking much wine again any time soon. It did not sit happily in my stomach, to say the least. I did however have an awesome Double Chocolate Cranberry Stout called Winter Beard over dinner which was pretty darned tasty. I might have to pick myself some up for the holidays instead of my usual Guinness.

I really love how my hair looks in this last photo. Which in a way is a shame because my hair won't look like this again for a very long time. That's right... I caved to my impulses and now I've got bangs! Wee! Other than rediscovering my hellishly annoying cowlick, so far so good.

My special someone is coming over for dinner again this evening (hopefully he likes my hair!) and the butterflies in my tummy are having a party over the whole affair. It's just really hard not to put the cart before the horse when the horizon looks so promising. Let's get this show on the road people! Right? Right. Anywho. I hope you're all having a groovy Wednesday. Cheers!

Who needs shoes?

Just because I get dressed doesn't mean I leave the apartment. So sometimes my outfits just don't involve shoes. Socks count as footwear, right? Right? But let's forget about my shoelessness and take a gander at my top! I thrifted it with a friend a while back but I'm only getting around to posting it now. It's one of my favourites, comfy and interesting.

Top - Thrifted from Value Village

Skirt - Purchased at Ragtime Vintage

I've got a lot of clothes with some pretty wacky prints and patterns, but this is the only thing I've got with an actual scene on it. I get to bring a harbor and sail boats with me wherever I go! And before I forget... I've gotten around to getting on Bloglovin' finally, so you can find me there!

I had an absolutely super awesome amazing weekend. I baked a devil's food cake with chocolate ganache on Friday, then whipped up another batch of blueberry cinnamon rolls and spent most of my Saturday at my grandparents'. They're so wonderful and I'm so thrilled to be spending time with them.

Then yesterday I cleaned the bejesus out of my apartment until it was spotless, and had a special friend over for dinner. I'm happy and excited and expectant and things in my life are just going so well recently. I feel very blessed, I have to say. (I also feel like a twitterpated forest creature but I'm probably the only one who relates to the animals in Bambi hah.) Anywho, I'm a happy lady lately, that's a wonderful truth. I hope you are all happy too. Cheers!

Bang on?

I need your help! After hanging out around here, I've got the itch for bangs. Currently they're grown out and blend in with the rest of my hair. I had bangs as a kid up until I was about 12 (I'm the kid on the left, when I was 6, see?) but not since. And now I am contemplating them again. What do you all think? Should I take the plunge and try out bangs again?

Top - Gifted from Heather

Skirt - Thrifted from Value Village

Flats - Aredene's

I'm just terribly worried they'll give me chipmunk-face and I'll hate it. I have never dyed my hair, never layered it, or really done all that much to it at all. It's never been curled and has only seen a straightener twice. I feel like I need some sort of fresh hair change but I'm so worried I'll hate it. And I can't exactly instantly re-grow 5 years worth of hair after cutting it off.

Sorry to those of you who get the heebie-jeebies from snakes! But I do so love my silly Rorschach. He's a spider morph ball python, and a total big baby. He curls up like that when he's frightened. I'm looking forward to Sunday because a friend of mine is coming over to meet the zoo. I always love showing off my peculiar pets.

I'm baking a cake tonight, having dinner with my grandparents tomorrow, and then spending Sunday with my friend... I feel so blessed lately. So many wonderful people and things are coming into my life. It's amazing to be surrounded by so much love and warmth. I hope you all have as wonderful a weekend as I plan on having! Much love to you all, cheers!